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Every reality show has at least one villain. As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here emphasizes that they have the right to choose or refuse the matches presented to them. But as becomes especially clear when Sima works in India, that choice is frequently and rather roughly pressured by an anvil of social expectations and family duty.
Vinay, from Indian Matchmaking, has said that the scene in which Nadia waits for him only to be I am a piece of this puzzle, just as you were.
The series focuses on Sima Taparia, a matchmaker from Mumbai who works with upper-class families in both India and the United States to connect couples that fit into the sort of criteria that are par for the course in Indian arranged marriages: income, skin colour, education levels and much more. And sure enough, it has inspired memes, debates about what the show represents and a not insubstantial number of people wondering why so many are watching the show while also telling the world how much they dislike it.
Me every time someone asks me about my dating life from now on IndianMatchmaking pic. Brown society when they see a girl who is over 25 and not married IndianMatchmaking pic. The Oedipus Complex is strong with this one. IndianMatchmaking pic.
What you should know about Netflix show ‘Indian Matchmaking’ (even if you haven’t seen it yet)
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Before you dismiss this as purely cringe, understand that it may also be cathartic for people to know that we aren’t the only one facing this.
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Indian Matchmaking – A Joke Made In Mumbai
The eight-part series, Indian Matchmaking, premiered on Netflix on Thursday and is currently among the top-ranked India shows. It follows elite matchmaker Sima Taparia from Mumbai as she jet sets around the world to find arranged marriage matches for rich desis and NRIs. And boy did I laugh about it! A reality that a lot of us millennials are facing as we skim through tons of biodatas looking for a suitable life partner.
To marry, you obviously need to meet someone. Just how are people meeting prospective matches? Family and friends are ready reckoners.
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What is bad about Indian Matchmaking? Nothing, really
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How has it been for you since the show premiered? It hit me yesterday that, a week ago, no one in the world knew my name except for my friends and my family. I watched [the series] at 2 a. Why did you decide to do the show? Are you looking for your significant other? I thought it was spam. They wanted to Skype, and then the process kicked off with the casting team. I thought it might work.
Why not? I thought nothing else has worked. I thought it would actually be the cutest story, if it could work.
People who are offended by ‘Indian Matchmaking’ prove its point
The show, which has generated a lot of buzz online, follows Sima Taparia, a high-profile matchmaker from Mumbai who sets couples up with prospective matches. While the show has triggered a debate on sexism, colourism and racism, it has managed to throw the spotlight on the age-old Indian custom of arranged marriage. Over the last two decades, several Bollywood films and reality TV shows have explored the concept of arranged marriages in their own way and have done justice to the theme.
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To her surprise, the year-old met her future husband and is set to get married in January next year. Mumbai-based Anindita Dey—married for over a year now — also met her husband through her parents. However, Anindita makes it clear that while it was her parents who set up the meeting, the final decision was completely hers.
Louis Superman, which she shared with Sami Khan. Because Indian Matchmaking follows matchmaker Sima Taparia analysing families and boys and girls to find suitable matches. In an age when people believed to be largely pushing away the stereotypes, breaking free from the regressive patriarchal mind-set of society, this show throws light on the ugly truth of Indian matchmaking. In other words, it hits the bullseye when showcasing the circus that Indian marriages, mostly considering how even the most well-to-do families can’t still avoid checking the kundali, complexion or height among other conventional criteria.
But it simultaneously hurts because it is the reality that people face once in their lifetimes and want to forget. Sima Taparia, who has been a matchmaker since , finds nothing backward in her business. In India anyway, 50 percent are love marriages but people mostly want arranged ones, as those marriages last long. No matter how much the show makes one twitch, the truth is that a large population of Indians still opt for an arranged marriage.
Despite Twitter rants on the show, calling it out for promoting colourism, cast and beauty standards, Indian Matchmaking elucidates the reality of Indian household loud and clear on the screen.
Not Just ‘Indian Matchmaking’, These 7 Reality Shows & Films Celebrate Arranged Marriages
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You and your partner may be a perfect match, but are your genitals? This is the question plastic surgery clinics in the U. Lucy Glancey. Of course, your body, your choice. If you and your partner want to turn your genitals into perfect, surgically perfected puzzle pieces, go for it. But might we suggest trying out some vibrators first? Sign up for InsideHook to get our best content delivered to your inbox every weekday.
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Critics accuse the show of stereotyping and commodifying women, lacking diversity and promoting a backwards vision of marriage where astrologers and meddling parents are more influential than the preferences of brides and grooms. They complain that the series, which follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she jets between Mumbai and the U. In fact, the real problem may be their discomfort with the way marriage works in India, with social stability prized over individual happiness.
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Your spouse is just a set of qualifications to finally one-up your neighbours or your rival at work. Stagnant social mobility, casteist educational institutions and economic inequality glom together to create families, neighbourhoods, schools, colleges and work places where everyone has similar incomes and wealth, lifestyles, intellectual interests and ambitions. In other words, the metrics of compatibility all conspire towards upholding oppressive structures. Practicing hyper-individuality to stand out on dating apps is disenchanting, having your personhood disregarded completely is no better.
Marital rape is still legal in India. Disputes and murders over dowry are regular news items. There has to be more or something else, some of us think to ourselves as we contemplate the markers of adulthood, and this show flatly tells us, no.
A matchmaking dead-end?
Matchmaking is the process of matching two or more people together, usually for the purpose of marriage , but the word is also used in the context of sporting events such as boxing, in business, in online video games and in pairing organ donors. In some cultures, the role of the matchmaker was and is quite professionalised. The Ashkenazi Jewish shadchan , or the Hindu astrologer , were often thought to be essential advisors and also helped in finding right spouses as they had links and a relation of good faith with the families.
In cultures where arranged marriages were the rule, the astrologer often claimed that the stars sanctified matches that both parents approved of, making it quite difficult for the possibly-hesitant children to easily object — and also making it easy for the astrologer to collect his fee.
Here are just a few of the things you should read on the show, whether or not you’ve been binge-watching it. My parents started “looking” for a.
It might seem strange to invoke an Alice Walker essay in connection with the new Netflix reality series, Indian Matchmaking , but, here we go. The essay is revolutionary for that coinage. Walker explicitly draws a connection between skin color and marriage. Walker tells us two smaller, adjoining stories, about herself and a friend in their single days. In the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking , the importance of skin color arrives quickly in talk of matrimony, as do other facets of packaged appearance, the sorts that indicate a notion of a stratified universe: This level of education matches with this one, this shade of skin with this, this height with this, these family values with these, this caste with this, this region with this, and so on.
In the series, she takes on clients in India and America, young desi men and women who seem, for all their desire to get properly paired off, equally conflicted about the whole endeavor. The women work and travel; they like their lives and have friends who offer the sort of support a spouse might. All seem to want, at some level, simple, non-transactional, unconditional affection.